It’s been really long since I visited WordPress intentionally to post, and I realised I have much to catch up on.
I thought I would continue with the question I left at the end of part I for me to answer:
“What do we really need for interaction to occur at a level that enables the deepening of our relationship or to understand the other party better?”
I think this question was asked by me in direct reference to the impact virtual communication will have on us. I covered quite a bit of this in the ‘argument for VC’, mainly the purposes for virtual communication. So now I wonder, can we continue using this form of interacting with other people as a way to sustain/deepen relationships? Or to what extent, then, can we make the best use of VC without tripping up the stairs (figuratively)?
In my initial opinion, virtual communication should necessarily be a secondary source of, or a supplement to, real-life interactions. When thinking about how true that statement could be, the one predominant plausible counter-evidence that came to my mind was: Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs). LDRs are quite common, as I see them, on Tumblr, where couples/people have LDR blogs documenting/featuring their love relationship sustained mainly through phone calls, texting and so forth. The two sides are separated by ‘thousands of miles’ but it appears there is little problem with either side about this. They physically meet up when it is possible, usually in blue moons.
LDR couples could be used as a central point of discussion and contention. How does everything fall in? Is this a legitimate model of the components of relationships? Is VC as a core interactive path actually possible? I now only offer my take on the matter, I am no official expert, after all.
A little argument
- (Assumption) Both parties in a relationship are keen to truly deepen their relationship.
- With an objective in mind, the most effective method to achieve it is sought.
Sub-conclusion 1: Both parties in a relationship would seek the most effective means to a deeper relationship.
- When seeking to apply the most effective method, one would wholly strive towards it.
- (Assumption) When striving towards something, mental motivation must necessarily encourage physical effort to attain it.
- Sub-conclusion 2: When seeking to apply the most effective method, one would be motivated towards it and attempt to utilize it.
- Conclusion: Couples seeking the most effective method to deepen their relationship would be motivated to, and attempt to, utilise it.
I learnt all this from school a long time ago. Hopefully it’s passable as some representation of how I see the matter. We can use this structure to work backwards towards the optimal (most effective) method for furthering a relationship (no pun intended). What I mean is, LDR couples using VC as their primary (most regularly employed) method may not necessarily view this method as the optimal method, nor must it be.
For couples in very good relationships, one should look towards what they strive towards, rather than what they have to make do with. If they long to meet up but most of the time have to make do with messaging, then VC is the primary while RLC is the optimal, which explains their success. I think? May make sense…
So, my final point is this: while your main method of interaction with another person is important, it’s your core motivation towards (what you view as) the optimal method that matters. That sets the stage for the dance that plays out between you and that person – what you both see as the foundation of the relationship dictates every tap and spin, every swirl and slide. And when it works, you can know for yourself what is the sweetest music to dance to.